Hollywooditoria

Perfect I tell you!

Daisy De La Hoya is the embodiment of perfection. This picture is my new Mona Lisa, my new Sixteenth Chapel, my new Eden. When I die and am next in line to go to heaven like the good little f*****g Christian that I am, I want Buddha to stick me somewhere in this picture. And I can already think of a few places.

There are few moments in your life, if any, in which a single image captures your entire essence. A welcoming vagina, milk-full, oh, scratch that, silicon-filled mammary glands (hey nobody’s perfect), that beautiful hand gesture, as pure as the way the Pope holds his fingers when he performs the sign of the cross, and that mouth…

And that’s not cocaine on the table, in case you were wondering. That’s just flour (what she cooks too? she’s my future wife!). Yes, I too laughed, and laughed, and laughed. Oh yea, why is this picture perfect? Oh, for the sweet homosexual love that Buddha has for Allah and Jesus, it’s Jack. I too love like a man… I love Jack! Oh, I’m already watering at the mouth!

Picture courtesy of TMZ