The equation is simple… You have Pamela Anderson on one side, orange because of the artificial tan, looking like she should hand up her silicon-filled breasts, aging visibly from minute to minute as the Botox is evaporating from her face, leaving behind nothing more than a vestige where Tommy Lee used to land his punches and sperm…
And in the fake orange tanning cream corner there is Lindsay Lohan, former teen idol and nearly-deceased star, with a trainwreck career, looking like she could at any minute lift her face from the mountain of crack she carries around in her bag and utter “say hello to my little friends…”, right on track to become all dried up, used up and expired…
The question is simple, which one of the two is more Zeexy and Deformed? I leave the Lindsay Lohan vs. Pamela Anderson smackdown to you…
Alessandra Ambrosio is all wet and topless in this pictorial for Arena magazine. More pictures of this lingerie/bikini/who really cares model flashing her mammary glands after the jump.
But this post is not about her… it’s about me. Today I was talking with one of my girlfriends and she paid me that compliment that every man wants to hear… She was comparing me with different animals, using analogies to emphasize my qualities…
She said I’m a lion because I’m the king, a scorpion because of my poisonous rhetoric abilities and my astute mind, a bull because of my masculinity and a stallion because I have a huge… Well, use your imagination. Come to think about it she left out intelligent, but then you don’t really find that in many animals, and who needs it when I can easily be mistaken for a tripod…
And speaking of wet, this girl gets so wet when we go at it that her juices run down from her inner thighs to her knees… Believe me when I tell you that she’s nothing short of delicious…
Bar Refaeli is as far as possible from porn in this black and white pictorial… simply because it’s grayscale and nothing more. When you only have two non-colors or less, with variations and nuances it automatically qualifies as art…
Vivid Entertainment plans to release a sex tape featuring none other than Jimi Hendrix. The guitar god was filmed while two young ladies were playing his guitar. Shot in 8mm the Jimi Hendrix sex tape is just 11 minutes long and dates back to 1968.
Now, truth be told this is one sex tape that I don’t want to see. I understand home made porn featuring Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan or your whore/slut/prostitute/model/actress/singer of choice, or even the virgin Mary plus the Pope! But Jimi Hendrix!?!?!? There have to be some things still sacred in the world, for Buddha’s sake!!!
Isabel Figueira is as anonymous as they get! She “originated” from Lisbon, Portugal, and managed to play around with the balls of portuguese soccer player César Peixoto until she got knocked up. Going by the full name of Ana Isabel Teixeira Laranjo Figueira, she manages to be an actress, model, TV show presenter as well as spend quality time on her knees.
Case in point: this bikini, and even topless pictorial of Isabel on her knees. I even included a video of her in sexy lingerie just to help get you off… I mean just to prove that she can use her mouth to not only suck but also talk…
Rebecca Romijn is on the cover of the Czech edition of Esquire magazine. Because you’ve been good little perverts you get to see Rebecca Romijn bikini and lingerie pictorial after the jump. Up in the Czech Republic they still call her Rebecca Romijn Stamos, but I get the feeling that you couldn’t care less…
I have no idea what the definition of singing is, and neither does tone deaf Scarlett Johansson. And I mean tone deaf not as an euphemism, but from the pure, smoothing pleasure that the mentioning of the “deaf” concept brings… The acoustics of vomit from an angel on crack hitting the asphalt is a symphony compared to this…!!!
Listening to Scarlett Johansson pseudo-song is just as bad as permitting a DUI. You know how there are people that think they can beat DUI… well, just as driving while intoxicated is not quite a brilliant idea, Scarlett vomiting sound is a crime. We just need a DUI arrest right here, and by DUI arrest I actually mean beating Scarlett to death for the trauma of this otherwise wonderful “single.”
Please, please, someone, anyone! Get some freshly used butt plugs and stuff them in Scarlett Johansson’s second anal hole… I meant to say mouth. Ha! No I didn’t!!! But hey, anal toys in Scarlett Johansson’s mouth are bound to generate some sort of special effects, and certainly something that is closer to music than the regurgitation of sound she calls her first single “Falling Down.”
Little 15 year old Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus went Disney-wild for Vanity Fair magazine… And by Disney-wild I actually mean the first step toward going fully wild on a very popular pornographic destination I am more than sure your perverts are fully familiar with.
Well, she’s not Girls Gone Wild material just yet… But she does show a lot of promise under the strict guidance of her depraved parents, both of them redefining the boundaries of retard for all primate subspecies from flashing circus monkeys down…
What happened? Well, 15 year old Miley Cyrus went topless for a photoshoot in Vanity Fair. All the pics associated with that pictorial can be found right here, after the jump. Momma and Daddy Cyrus must be exulting with pure pride for the career apex of their offspring. You even have a video of the happy, picture perfect family, spending quality time together while their teenage daughter was photographed almost naked and wearing nothing but a bedsheet and shy grin.
“I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be ‘artistic’ and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed,” Cyrus revealed on Sunday in a statement released by her publicist. “I never intended for any of this to happen and I apologize to my fans who I care so deeply about.”
“Unfortunately, as the article suggests, a situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines,” commented a spokesperson for the Disney Channel.
“Miley’s parents and/or minders were on the set all day. Since the photo was taken digitally, they saw it on the shoot and everyone thought it was a beautiful and natural portrait of Miley,” reads the statement released by Vanity Fair to try and explain their position on the semi-nude pictures of Miley Cyrus taken by photographer Annie Leibovitz.
“I think it’s really artsy,” Miley added. “It wasn’t in a skanky way. Annie took, like, a beautiful shot, and I thought that was really cool. That’s what she wanted me to do, and you can’t say no to Annie.”
When the Apocalypse comes, just before Buddha’s third coming inside the virgin Mary, we will be able to fight the extreme shortage of dairy products with the help of Keeley Hazell. And this milking pictorial for FHM is an illustrative point…
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