Hollywooditoria

Angelina Jolie popped over 10 pounds of offspring out of her… Finally… Brad Pitt was reportedly present at the Caesarean which is a gesture of good faith from Angelina which failed to include him in the conception process. Oh c’mon…

Let me make one thing clear… professional pretty boy and accidental actor Brad Pitt cannot possibly impregnate a woman which at one time was so high that she branded herself for the sake of Billy Bob Thornton… And besides Angelina is too busy now saving the planet by adopting one Vietnamese at a time. Her family now accounts for Maddox, 6; Pax, 4; Zahara, 3, and Shiloh, 2. And of course baby-sitter Brad Pitt.

The latest additions to the Brangelina continuously growing tribe which is about to become an entire populous are Knox Leon, a 5 pounder, and Vivienne Marcheline, also a 5 pounder, the first is reported to have some cheese in it. “Everything is going well,” said obstetrician doctor Michel Sussmann. “The mother, the babies, the father are doing marvelously well.”

The boy and girl twins were delivered in Correns, some 60 miles from Nice, a Mediterranean resort. But I am still skeptical about cheerleader-wannabe Brad fathering Angelina’s offspring… Next you’re going to tell me that Tom Cruise and not the alien-Jesus from Jupiter impregnated that mutant he’s supposedly married to in the most cosmic of universal unions, which is similar to the process of bacterial defecation… oh yeah… Katie Holmes, or something.

Angelina Jolie and her lesbian prop of a wife Brad Pitt are emigrating to Europe. Brangelina, which is essentially an offspring producing and adopting enterprise, are planning, and by “are” I actually mean Angelina, because Brad is just an accessory, planning to Europenize their Hollywood-aristocratic family patched together from pieces collected all over the world.

Adding to this imperfect recipe, Angelina Jolie used Brad Pitt’s rejected sperm to impregnate herself. As you can see, she looked better, but considering that a laxative-induced abortion is not an option, Angelina needs to pop first before she will get back to her old self, namely prime material for your masturbatory practices.

The images feature Brad Pitt carrying daughter Zahara, 3, a huge pregnant Angelina Jolie in the south of France on Saturday. Angelina took a helicopter ride to visit a property in Monaco, and took some comfy underwear and Brad Pitt along… yes, she does have her priorities.

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