Archive for the 'Angelina Jolie' Category

Brad Pitt Is Lactose Intolerant for Angelina Jolie

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at October 9, 2008 in Angelina Jolie and Random Hollywooditoria | . 1 Comment

Brad Pitt Is Lactose Intolerant for Angelina Jolie

Can you believe this! No! You have got to look at this picture of Angelina Jolie breastfeeding one of her twins (Knox or Vivienne) on the November 2008 cover of W Magazine, and ask what in the world was Brad Pitt doing playing around with a camera and taking pictures of his wife!

I always knew that Pitt was a disgusting and worthless piece of meat, but this is absurd! The fact that he was taking pictures instead of milking Angelina for the last drop of milk proves nothing more. Angelina Jolie, now mother-of-six and successfully building her own multi-continental and pluri ethnic tribe was photographed in the backyard of her and Pitt’s French Chateau this August.

Angelina revealed to Parade: “I have two divorces behind me but I’m still good friends with both my exes, Billy Bob Thorton and Jonny Lee Miller. I’ve never had to deal with secrets from the men in my life because I’ve always married artists and they’re a very talkative and expressive bunch. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

New Movie Releases: Changeling Trailer

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at September 12, 2008 in Angelina Jolie and Video Culture | . 0 Comments

http://www.hollywooditoria.com/2008/09/12/new-movie-releases-changeling-trailer/

New movie releases: Come October 31st, 2008, Changeling will be released into theathers. Written by J. Michael Straczynski, directed by Clint Eastwood and staring Angelina Jolie, the movie looks promising.

Motherhood Has Not Been Easy on Angelina Jolie (Postpartum Depression)

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at September 4, 2008 in Angelina Jolie | . 0 Comments

Motherhood Has Not Been Easy on Angelina Jolie (Postpartum Depression)

Motherhood has not been easy on Angelina Jolie. The Wanted star is suffering from Postpartum Depression, with newborn twins Vivienne Marcheline and Knox Leon diagnosed with colic crying constantly in the background.

A source said: “Angelina slips into depression mode all the time. She has been trying to control her emotions around her older children but her mood swings have been hard on the entire family.

She has been staying in bed most of the time, all she does is sleep. She has little energy and has to force herself to remember to eat because she is still breast feeding. She cries at the drop of a hat and laughs at inappropriate times.

Angelina feels that Brad has it easy. He had the kids without the pain of birth, and he can just jet off whenever he feels like it.”

Tomb Raider’s New Lara Croft Is a Downgrade from Angelina Jolie

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at August 12, 2008 in Angelina Jolie and Hollywood wannabe | . 0 Comments

Tomb Raider\'s New Lara Croft Is a Downgrade from Angelina Jolie

Here name is Alison Carroll, and she is the new face of Lara Croft from the game Tomb Raider… Now, not talking specifically about the Tomb Raider game, but when you say Tomb Raider you automatically imply Angelina Jolie. And the truth of the matter is that every woman is a downgrade from Angelina Jolie…

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Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Are Mommies!!!

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at August 4, 2008 in Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt | . 0 Comments

Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, pics, pictures, photos, photograps, twins, Knox Léon, Vivienne Marcheline

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are mommies!!! Yeah, I know that you know… What else? Brad Pitt is a man and therefore a daddy? No really! Do tell!!!

Hello and People Magazine paid no less that an obscene $14 for the pictures with the offspring of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie… Twins Knox Léon and Vivienne Marcheline are just three weeks old and Pitt looks happy like a monkey that just found it can reach its genitalia with its tongue…

“It is chaos, but we are managing it and having a wonderful time,” Jolie blabs incoherently. “Shiloh and Z pick out the twins’ clothes and help change and hold them. It’s sweet - they are little mommies.”

By my calculations, if there were people capable of paying $14 million for something that came out of Angelina’s vagina… then… well, I’m not going to go there, use your filthy imagination…

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Angelina Jolie Popped Over 10 Pounds of Offspring Out of Her, Sort Of

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at July 13, 2008 in Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt | . 0 Comments

Angelina Jolie, brad pitt, Caesarean, Knox Leon, Vivienne Marcheline, birth, france, nice, correns, medditerranean

Angelina Jolie popped over 10 pounds of offspring out of her… Finally… Brad Pitt was reportedly present at the Caesarean which is a gesture of good faith from Angelina which failed to include him in the conception process. Oh c’mon…

Let me make one thing clear… professional pretty boy and accidental actor Brad Pitt cannot possibly impregnate a woman which at one time was so high that she branded herself for the sake of Billy Bob Thornton… And besides Angelina is too busy now saving the planet by adopting one Vietnamese at a time. Her family now accounts for Maddox, 6; Pax, 4; Zahara, 3, and Shiloh, 2. And of course baby-sitter Brad Pitt.

The latest additions to the Brangelina continuously growing tribe which is about to become an entire populous are Knox Leon, a 5 pounder, and Vivienne Marcheline, also a 5 pounder, the first is reported to have some cheese in it. “Everything is going well,” said obstetrician doctor Michel Sussmann. “The mother, the babies, the father are doing marvelously well.”

The boy and girl twins were delivered in Correns, some 60 miles from Nice, a Mediterranean resort. But I am still skeptical about cheerleader-wannabe Brad fathering Angelina’s offspring… Next you’re going to tell me that Tom Cruise and not the alien-Jesus from Jupiter impregnated that mutant he’s supposedly married to in the most cosmic of universal unions, which is similar to the process of bacterial defecation… oh yeah… Katie Holmes, or something.

New Movie Releases: Wanted Exclusive Trailer

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at June 3, 2008 in Angelina Jolie, New Movie Releases, New Movie Trailers and Pure Hollywood | . 0 Comments

Just a reminder that Wanted drops by the end of this month. James McAvoy, Morgan Freeman and Angelina Jolie are guaranteed to at least make this watchable…

Wanted Exclusive Trailer

Angelina Jolie Is Not Limiting Herself to Jesus

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at June 2, 2008 in Angelina Jolie and Sexy Pictorial | . 2 Comments

Angelina Jolie Is Not Limiting Herself to Jesus

Angelina Jolie was featured in the July 2008 issue of Vanity Fair. However, as you can very well tell by her body, the photoshoot was taken when her twin offspring were fully developed… And I did say “her” twins, because I seriously doubt that Brad Pitt had anything to do with Angelina getting impregnated. Well… maybe he was holding her hand when the pool boys did their thing…

Daughter Shiloh: “It’s a biblical name, but we didn’t name her for that. It was a name my parents almost named their first child—there was a miscarriage: Shiloh Baptist. Because my father had been shooting in Georgia and that was the most southern name my parents could come up with. It’s a name I always liked. I used to go under it in hotels: Shiloh Baptist. I’d gone under it when Brad called hotel rooms where I was staying.”

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Angelina Jolie Has Come a Long Way From Heroin to a Receptacle for Brad Pitt’s Sperm

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at May 20, 2008 in Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt | . 0 Comments

Angelina Jolie Has Come a Long Way From Heroin to a Receptacle for Brad Pitt\'s Sperm

Angelina Jolie has certainly come a long way… She is now an UN ambassador to third world countries, using her vagina as a sperm receptacle for Brad Pitt, when she’s not out exercising her no. 1 hobby speed adoption and appearing topless and pregnant on a balcony in Cannes.

But she started out doing drugs… and some more nasty things with her body which are yet to appear on video. The fragment embedded with this article features a young Angelina Jolie in a drug den. Now pregnant 32-years old Angelina confessed that “I’ve done coke, heroin, ecstasy, LSD, everything. I gave them up long ago.”

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Angelina Jolie and Her Wife Brad Pitt Are Emigrating to Europe

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at May 4, 2008 in Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt | . 1 Comment

Angelina Jolie and Her Wife Brad Pitt Are Emigrating to Europe

Angelina Jolie and her lesbian prop of a wife Brad Pitt are emigrating to Europe. Brangelina, which is essentially an offspring producing and adopting enterprise, are planning, and by “are” I actually mean Angelina, because Brad is just an accessory, planning to Europenize their Hollywood-aristocratic family patched together from pieces collected all over the world.

Adding to this imperfect recipe, Angelina Jolie used Brad Pitt’s rejected sperm to impregnate herself. As you can see, she looked better, but considering that a laxative-induced abortion is not an option, Angelina needs to pop first before she will get back to her old self, namely prime material for your masturbatory practices.

The images feature Brad Pitt carrying daughter Zahara, 3, a huge pregnant Angelina Jolie in the south of France on Saturday. Angelina took a helicopter ride to visit a property in Monaco, and took some comfy underwear and Brad Pitt along… yes, she does have her priorities.

Angelina Jolie and Her Wife Brad Pitt Are Emigrating to Europe

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