Archive for the 'Jessica Alba' Category

Jessica Alba Without Makeup

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at August 26, 2008 in Jessica Alba | . 0 Comments

Jessica Alba Without Makeup

Here is Jessica Alba in Los Angeles without makeup… She is beautiful… Yes she is… Don’t argue with my impeccable taste in dogs… ooops… I mean in Latina women with no makeup… Ooops…

One of the girls I was seeing socially, and by seeing socially I mean that I very much appreciated her high level of education, moral conduct, intelligence, personality and the way she struggled to swallow my penis just to never quite make it and choke a little, was once going on and on how her boyfriend considered her most beautiful when she woke up in the morning…

I felt like I wanted to vomit… Without makeup she looked just like Jessica Alba. After she slapped some lipstick, foundation and mascara on she looked half good enough to qualify as an accessory for my sneakers…

Jessica Alba Without Makeup

If Milking Was an Olympic Sport, Jessica Alba Would Be the No. 1 Prop

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at August 18, 2008 in Jessica Alba | . 0 Comments

If Milking Was an Olympic Sport, Jessica Alba Would Be the No. 1 Prop

If milking was an Olympic sport, Jessica Alba would be the no. 1 prop… Can you imagine just how many million starving Chinese she could feed with those milk-filled breasts? I’m just sitting here pondering at what point does breast feeding stop and cannibalism start…???

Those beautifully delicious things should not be wasted on an infant… It’s just not fair! Baby formula should do the trick anyway… Jessica Alba needs a new career: a wet nanny for adults in a new breastfeeding marathon at the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games! I know, I know… I’m sick!…

The 27 year old mother attended the 2008 ALMA Awards at the Pasadena Civic Auditorium on Friday in Pasadena, California… quite a long way away from a possible milk rich Olympic event… And apparently she has indeed found a new sport… breeding.

“I’d like to have as many children as my body will allow - and I’d adopt if I still want more children after that!” Jessica confessed, adding that husband/accessory “wants the same things in life. He wants to adopt and have a big family and believes in marriage forever. It can really happen if we want it to!”

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Jessica Alba Is Lost Forever

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at August 10, 2008 in Before/After and Jessica Alba | . 0 Comments

Jessica Alba Is Lost Forever

Say what you will, but Jessica Alba is lost forever… to her new family. Here are some pictures of the carrier of the sweetest invisible vagina around taking her daughter Honor to a doctor’s appointment in LA. It’s a real shame that she’s waisting those perfect milk-filled breasts! A shame I tell you!

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Jessica Alba’s Post-Baby Figure: Her Breasts Could Do with a Milking…

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at July 10, 2008 in Jessica Alba | . 0 Comments

Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba could do with a milking… Don’t you think? Does the fact that I have a sudden craving for ingredients such as lactose make me a pervert??? Seriously now! I can metabolize lactose better than an famished anorexic Hollywood-bred infant which was fed only small portions of soy-based milk substitute!

I know that some of you look at Jessica Alba’s milk-filled breasts and are really worried about your manual abilities when it comes to operate such heavy equipment. Yes, with what only seems to be in excess of a dozen kilograms of milk-expanded mammary gland, Jessica Alba does look like she belongs on a dairy farm.

I’ll bet you are just dying to take her back to more simple, agricultural times, domesticate her properly, and slap some sort of perverted machine designed for mechanized, industrial milking on her… You filthy, milk-loving perverts!!!

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Jessica Alba Flushed a Few Kilos of Offspring Out of Her Vagina

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at June 9, 2008 in Jessica Alba | . 0 Comments

CASH WARREN & JESSICA ALBA

Imagine this veritable horror story… Something that was once virginal and tight as a hungry young mouth untouched by the taste of fellatio just got a few kilos worth of offspring flushed out of it… Jessica Alba and Husband Cash Warren are the official proud parent of a girl whom they named Honor Marie Warren. What a sad… sad… day!

This Is What’s Left of Jessica Alba in a Bikini

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at June 2, 2008 in Jessica Alba | . 0 Comments

This Is what Left of Jessica Alba in a Bikini

Pregnant Jessica Alba is a ruin, a rebut, a piece of disgusting flesh stretched into a balloon shape with legs and arms… Be honest… Did you ever think you would ever see Jessica Alba in a hot bikinit and use the napkins to wipe the tears from your eyes?

Just the vague reference of Jessica Alba in a bikini was enough to get you perverts masturbating frenetically. Wait… Come to think about it, for some of you pregnancy just added a tad of extra spice on the hot Latina actress…

This Is what Left of Jessica Alba in a Bikini

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10 Things to Do While Jessica Alba Is Staring At You

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at May 16, 2008 in Jessica Alba | . 0 Comments

Here is an impressive list of no less than ten things you can do while Jessica Alba is staring at you:

1. Stare back;

2. Masturbate;

3.

All right, it shames me to admit it that I only managed to take it as far as no. 2. And now I need a tissue… Well, I’m off, can’t risk messing the keyboard.

Jessica Alba’s Used Up, Not Virginal Vagina Loves Monologues

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at May 13, 2008 in Celebrity News, Hollywood wannabe, Jessica Alba and Pure Hollywood | . 1 Comment

Jessica Alba\'s Used Up, Not Virginal Vagina Loves Monologues

Jessica Alba never kept her vagina on the side. In fact she parked that thing as much apparently considering her philosophy on the subject as it was revealed to Allure Magazine. But now her overstretched, offspring-filled and used up vagina is only good for… well, you be disappointed in this, you are bound to be disappointed, but in full reproductive mode Jessica Alba’s vagina is only fit for… monologues. Oh!!!!!! I knoooow!!!!! The perversity!!!

Here’s what she had to say:

“Hollywood always plays up your sexuality, because that’s what gets men into the theaters. And I never really gave a s— about all that stuff! It’s nothing to be ashamed of. But it is definitely not what I am about by any means!”

“I don’t think I was comfortable with my sexuality until I was an adult, probably, like, 22 – that’s when I stopped apologizing and stopped feeling ashamed. I did the Vagina Monologues in L.A. That made me proud.”

“I never believed women had to be virgins when they got married, or that a woman has to fall in love with a guy just because they’re having sex. I don’t think sex is a big deal. I hated the hypocrisy of it. Men can do whatever, and it’s acceptable.”

Jessica Alba Super Latina

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at February 19, 2008 in Jessica Alba and Sexy Pictorial | . 0 Comments

Here is Jessica Alba when she found out she’s pregnant…

Jessica Alba Super Latina

Just kidding. Jessica Alba just reproduced a few landmark scenes from horror movies for Latina magazine. What I don’t understand is why couldn’t they have got her to reproduce scenes from top porn movies. I know that just like me you would die just to see the pornographic side of Jessica Alba. But not after the bastard will pop out of her. Who wants saggy breasts and an expired ass? Right? That’s just like watching regular porn…

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Jessica Alba’s Huge Breasts Got Milk

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at January 12, 2008 in Breasts Fiesta, Eye Candy and Jessica Alba | . 0 Comments

Jessica Alba’s Huge Breasts Got Milk

Ooo daaaa… In trecut am zis ca sarcina o sa-i strice trupul perfect Albutzei. Boy was I wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong! Just take a look at these pictures. Can you stop salivating for a second and get your eyes on the size of those things?? Pai un lucru e clar, sanii lui Alba sunt plini de lapte. Si de ce mi se pare ca si voi, ca si mine de altfel, avem o vaga pofta de laptic… That’s right! I’m not lactose intolerant! And I’m ready to be breast fed!

Jessica Alba’s Huge Breasts Got Milk Jessica Alba’s Huge Breasts Got Milk Jessica Alba’s Huge Breasts Got Milk Jessica Alba’s Huge Breasts Got Milk Jessica Alba’s Huge Breasts Got Milk Jessica Alba’s Huge Breasts Got Milk

Jessica Alba’s Huge Breasts Got Milk Jessica Alba’s Huge Breasts Got Milk Jessica Alba’s Huge Breasts Got Milk

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