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Keira Knightley “High Fashion” American Vogue

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at August 15, 2008 in Keira Knightley | . 0 Comments

Keira Knightley \

It has already been scientifically proven that Keira Knightley can’t sing or act… Now you can add, think, look pretty, look pretty-human, entertain, and perform high-fashion tricks to that list, especially for American Vogue…

I don’t know, and neither do I want to find out the square footage of geriatric American Vogue executives scrotum she had to clean with her mouth to get featured in the magazine, but it has obviously worked… And don’t worry about the inherent strains on her vocal abilities she already makes the sound of a sperm-filled condom extracted from her neck nothing short of a symphony…

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Keira Knightley Sings as Well as She Looks

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at March 8, 2008 in Keira Knightley | . 0 Comments


Keira Knightley

“I can’t really sing. I had to have a few lessons, but once I started doing it, a sound emerged that wasn’t too disagreeable,” said Keira Knightley as she is supposedly going to sing ‘Blue Tahitian Moon’, ‘Maybe It’s Because I Love You Too Much’ and ‘Drifting And Dreaming’ for her new movie “The Edge of Love.”

All right. Get your ear plugs, nose plugs, gags, butt plugs and so on and so forth ready because IT’s gonna unleash a stream of acoustic vomit. But hey, at least she’s beautiful. And I do mean beautiful as in if she was a rodent you’d kill it with mercy. But still kill the little…