Archive for the 'Hannah Montana' Category

Miley Cyrus Still Hurting over Vanity Fair Fiasco Releases 7 Things Music Video

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at June 29, 2008 in Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus | . 0 Comments

Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus / Hannah Montana posed almost naked for a pictorial in Vanity Fair magazine a while back, sometime in April 2008. Apparently the sight of suggestively nude Miley Cyrus failed to be digested as high art by the public worldwide. The poor little actress and singer is still feeling the pain and hurt from the feedback the Vanity Fair pictorial generated.

Miley Cyrus: “I was embarrassed… but also it’s like, every career thing that I do can’t be perfect, and sometimes my decisions are wrong.”

Translation: “You perverts make me sick! I am perfect when I’m naked! But it looks like you are going to still have to resort to your imagination when masturbating! Tough luck!”

Miley Cyrus: “I don’t think people will look at me any differently because they’re like, ‘You know what, I’m going to do stupid stuff too, and I’m going to make mistakes, and that’s fine’. It still hurts when I think about it. That doesn’t mean that I’m not going to make mistakes and do things that everyone’s going to be happy with … there’s no such thing as perfection.”

Translation: “You need to get a life! I’m all naked inside my soul! If you want to live in a perfect world where 15 year olds are still virgins, that’s fine! Be ignorant like that! Anyway… my 7 Things music video is out… No I’m not nude, although that was the initial plan.”

Hannah Montana / Miley Cyrus Got Milk

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at May 14, 2008 in Hannah Montana, Hollywood wannabe and Miley Cyrus | . 1 Comment

Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus Got Milk

Girl Power – seriously now… claiming girl power when you look like you just got ejaculated in the face might not be a case of perfect synchronization between practicing what you’re preaching and being a recipient for sperm…

It seems that only yesterday little 15 year old Miley Cyrus / Hannah Montana was participating in a perverse photoshoot for Vanity Fair magazine, and now she’s ready for a tad of hardcore. Here is the synopsis: “Actress by day. Rocker by night! I got to keep fit to keep up. Some studies suggest that teens who choose milk instead of sugar drinks tend to be leaner and the protein helps build muscle. It’s the best of two worlds.”

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Get Ready for Miley Cyrus / Hannah Montana Playboy’s Pictorial

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at May 9, 2008 in Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus | . 1 Comment

Get Ready for Miley Cyrus / Hannah Montana Playboy\'s Pictorial

Well, it’s not enough that Miley Cyrus / Hannah Montana came on the edge of porn with her pictorial for Vanity Fair magazine, but now the Disney $1 billion-by-18 wild, wild, wild wonder has got an open invitation from none other than world war 1 survivor and Playboy patron Hugh Hefner to exhibit her naked self in… you might have guessed this… Playboy…

“Certainly she’d be welcome to the magazine. She’s a very pretty lady,” Hugh Hefner babbled deliriously in his old age, between sessions of urinal incontinence.

At that point in his life when diapers represent not so much a return to the origins but an indication of complete senility, great great great great great great great oooold and decrepit (I think I already mentioned senile) grandfather Hugh Hefner spat out the following about the pseudo-pornographic performance Miley Cyrus / Hannah Montana pulled for Vanity Fair: “To make such a big to-do over something as innocent as those photos — I think it’s a reflection of how schizophrenic America is about sexuality.”

I am sure glad that Hef had his first semi-coherent thought since he hit pension time 50 years ago, but a naked pictorial of still 15 year old Miley Cyrus / Hannah Montana in Playboy might not be the best idea that went through his head in this life… In fact a Hannah going full naked for a Playboy spread is on the same level of basic thoughts as “food” and “gaga”, and the natural reflex to defecate when bright light hits his eyes for Hefner.

But then again Miley does show a lot of potential…

Little 15 Year Old Miley Cyrus Went Disney Wild for Vanity Fair

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at April 28, 2008 in Celebrity News, Hannah Montana, Miley Cyrus, Video Culture and Virgin Flesh | . 8 Comments

Miley Cyrus topless, half-naked, with parents watching her posing for almost naked pics

Little 15 year old Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus went Disney-wild for Vanity Fair magazine… And by Disney-wild I actually mean the first step toward going fully wild on a very popular pornographic destination I am more than sure your perverts are fully familiar with.

Well, she’s not Girls Gone Wild material just yet… But she does show a lot of promise under the strict guidance of her depraved parents, both of them redefining the boundaries of retard for all primate subspecies from flashing circus monkeys down…

What happened? Well, 15 year old Miley Cyrus went topless for a photoshoot in Vanity Fair. All the pics associated with that pictorial can be found right here, after the jump. Momma and Daddy Cyrus must be exulting with pure pride for the career apex of their offspring. You even have a video of the happy, picture perfect family, spending quality time together while their teenage daughter was photographed almost naked and wearing nothing but a bedsheet and shy grin.

“I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be ‘artistic’ and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed,” Cyrus revealed on Sunday in a statement released by her publicist. “I never intended for any of this to happen and I apologize to my fans who I care so deeply about.”

“Unfortunately, as the article suggests, a situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines,” commented a spokesperson for the Disney Channel.

“Miley’s parents and/or minders were on the set all day. Since the photo was taken digitally, they saw it on the shoot and everyone thought it was a beautiful and natural portrait of Miley,” reads the statement released by Vanity Fair to try and explain their position on the semi-nude pictures of Miley Cyrus taken by photographer Annie Leibovitz.

“I think it’s really artsy,” Miley added. “It wasn’t in a skanky way. Annie took, like, a beautiful shot, and I thought that was really cool. That’s what she wanted me to do, and you can’t say no to Annie.”

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Yes, Hannah Montana Is 15 and Pulling a Vanessa Hudgens (Naked Disney Style)

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at January 27, 2008 in Hannah Montana, Hollywood wannabe, Miley Cyrus and Virgin Flesh | . 8 Comments

Hannah Montana Is 15 and Pulling a Vanessa Hudgens (Naked Disney Style)

Yes, Hannah Montana is 15 and pulling a Vanessa Hudgens (naked Disney style). Remember when Disney… oh, what in Buddha’s name is happening over at Disney? Sex sells, I get it. Otherwise I wouldn’t be here. If you will take the time to visit the official Disney webpage, you will be able to see that the company has a little something-something to offer for children of preschool age, for boys and girls, for kids and teens, for your family and for hardcore Disney fans. The last I hear, Disney is about to give a special treat to all those hardcore fans out there and go pornographic all the way.

Well first there was Vanessa Hudgens, nothing more than your average Disney star that had the great idea of doing a naked pictorial while underage. But fear not. Disney girls are by no means shy of dumping the textiles and letting you peep at the inner child. Just look at the images featuring a tad too sexually explicit Hannah Montana, going by her true name of Miley Cyrus. Just a Vanessa Hudgens waiting to happen. Disney needs to control these hormonal stars, and get their daddies and mommies to stop supplying them with all sorts of technology that will eventually permit them to go all out and perform in their very own variant of One Night in Paris (Paris Hilton).

Either way I still rather foresee a One Night in Hudgens, and One Night in Montana rather than college degrees for the two Disney stars. After all, Disney is doing the best it can to blur the line between star and starlet!

More Pictures of Hannah Montana!

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